Either way, it’s a new thing for me. This waning urge to spatter my thoughts out on a blank canvas read by strangers (and non-strangers). I don’t know where that puts me, if it leaves me here or somewhere else entirely.
If you do still stop by on occasion, I’m here. I just don’t know what I’m doing. (Which, really, do I ever?)
You should see my drafts box, all overloaded and bursting with half-written posts and unfinished thoughts. Each time I login to write, those posts stare back at me like I’m some sort of traitor — not allowing them out in to the world. Instead, I open several of them in different tabs, read through the words, make minor changes, hit “save draft” and exit out of the screen. Feeling no more accomplished than I did when I first logged in.
For the weekend? It’s going to be top notch. I can’t share all the details just yet because some of them are still top secret, but I can tell you that we’re having two fun family dinners, a fancy steak dinner for Christian’s birthday and we’ll probably head to the farmer’s market (where I’ll spend a ridiculous amount of money on the BEST watermelon I’ve ever tasted). Also, I have to find time to clean… the kitchen is clean, but that’s about it (oh! and the dogs need baths, I can’t even remember the last time they were bathed), it’s gross.
I’m not perfect, my writing isn’t perfect, it never will be. And, I’m ok with that. Connecting, sharing, enjoying and participating will always, always take priority over perfection.
Today is November 1. For starters, how the hell is it November 1? I’m pretty sure it was just last week I was doing my first Nablopomo. But alas, here it is again – a whole year later. I’m going to try my hardest come hell or high water to post something exceptional every single day for the next 30 days.