It all feels broken.

I’m sharing this because I was blindsided by my miscarriage and felt/feel very isolated by what has happened. Miscarriage is extremely common, possibly in upwards of 1 in 4 pregnancies. Personally, I didn’t know anyone that had shared their miscarriage story, that could fully understand what I was feeling, what I was grieving. Miscarriage is something a lot of people don’t talk about – it’s hard, it’s grief, it’s uncomfortable. But, it happens and we shouldn’t be ashamed, we shouldn’t hide it in our hearts, we need to be open to talking about it.

So, It’s been a while.

Either way, it’s a new thing for me. This waning urge to spatter my thoughts out on a blank canvas read by strangers (and non-strangers). I don’t know where that puts me, if it leaves me here or somewhere else entirely.

If you do still stop by on occasion, I’m here. I just don’t know what I’m doing. (Which, really, do I ever?)

PCOS: An Update.

I’ve had it on my mind to write an update on this whole PCOS thing for months now. Each time I sit down to write about where I’m at, what I’m feeling, what I know and where I’m going… I just clam up. I don’t know how to adequately put it all into words – the ups that make me feel like this is all just pretend, a flash in the pan – the downs that leave me swirling, scared and anxious.

Currently.

Current Wish List: A new pair of jeans that fit well and make my butt look like a million bucks – what, is that asking too much?

Finally Friday.

Happy Friday! This week f-l-e-w by! Usually when I have exciting things on the horizon, the days (and nights) just crawl… but not this week! We’re spending the weekend in Breckenridge with my family to celebrate a BIG birthday for my mom. There will be lots of vino, baby snuggles, game time, wandering in and out of shops + good food. I may or may not grace everyone with my fabulous rendition of, out-of-key, happy birthday, we’ll just have to wait and see.

It’s called PCOS & I’ve got it.

So the title of this post let the cat out of the bag. Maybe I should have gone with something more like “It has to do with my ovaries & mood swings” or “That time I had too much testosterone” or “You know what sucks? My ovaries”. Guess the commitment to my creative juices just wasn’t flowing when I wrote that one out.