I thought I might be crazy.

Let me tell you a little something. Which I feel is a little weird, a lot happy and a whole bunch of other things that just can’t make their way out of my brain and onto this here blog.

When I think about 2012 on the whole — it was kind of blah year. I was feeling really down and foggy for most of it (even this summer, wah!!) and it seemed to just pass me by, hoping each day would go a little faster until the fog passed.

So, here’s the story:

I’m sitting at my desk today and I’m mentally reviewing how different I’ve felt for the past couple weeks. Might I even venture to say that I’ve felt happy? I begin to play, over and over, different moments that were just so shocking to my system that they obviously registered as out of the ordinary…

… we’re having an office meeting, talking about office things, when I look around the room and all I can think about is how happy I am. At the same time I also note that if someone were privy to my thoughts they would think I was high as a kite…

… while staring at my computer screens, my insides get all jittery and I feel this sudden inspiration to write, to plan, to do. But, I’m at work so I stifle the inspiration with a cheery internal high-five that I am actually feeling anything outside of the desire to sleep. Score one for internal joy…

…when I think about 2013 and all the excitement ahead, I just want to shout and yell and grab everyone I know to tell them what am amazing year it’s going to be and that they need to pick themselves up and show a shimmer of the jubilance that I’m experiencing RIGHT THIS MOMENT…

… walking back from the bathroom I have a sudden jolt about all the things I like, but that other’s might find weird and decide it would make for a great blog post. I proceed to mentally pat myself on the back for thinking of all those weird things and for planning a post in advance…

I could go on, but you get the gist (the maybe a little too joyful jist).

This is when it dawns on me, that for the last 11 months I’ve felt nothing but a heaping desire to go home, watch a movie, eat pizza and sleep. I mean, I got excited for things, but they were few and far between. Also there were a lot of tears during those past months. So, what gives. Again, I have another revelation. (Are you jealous of all my revelations because, damn, I would be). But, this revelation is that I might be going crazy. Like loony bin, brain scans, crazy.

So, what do I do? I call my mom. I chose my mom because Christian doesn’t need me to plant any further seeds that he married a lunatic. The conversation goes like this:

Me: I’m a little concerned about how I’ve been feeling lately.

Mom: Well, what’s going on?

Me: So, I’ve been feeling really happy. Like all the sudden (light switched on) and boom I’m happy and the world is great, 2013 is going to be great, my life is great and I just want everyone to be great right along with me. . All of this sounds really super but I’ve come to the conclusion that I must be BI-POLAR. I mean, people don’t go from dull and dreary to spouting sparkles this fast. Right? Am I nuts? I don’t want to be nuts.

Mom: (ever patient sigh) Are you making life changing decisions, huge plans or buying a lot of stuff?

Me: No.

Mom: Then I think you’re fine.

Me: Not crazy?

Mom: No. But if you go on a spending spree let’s re-evaluate.

Me: Ok, thanks for listening.

Mom: I’m going to start charging you for these therapy sessions.

So the sad part is that the fact that I’m happy makes me think there’s some sort of cray-cray disease affecting my brain lobes. But, the happy part is that, well, I’m happy. Seeing sparkles in everything happy, but not so happy that Christian not doing the dishes doesn’t irritate the pants off me. That’s a story for another day. So there you have it.

Want to share in the sparkles of 2013 (because it’s almost here!)? Let’s do it!

Published by Megan

I'm a marketer, cook, avid bug hater, cupcake lover, hiker, klutz, and married lady living in the great state of Colorado... My name is Megan Stecker and I'm a Colorado native. That's right, born and raised. I currently live in Denver and work in Marketing. I love what I do and watching it impact my client's business. I love to cook and bake. A good glass of wine can cure what's ailing you as long as you drink it in good company. I love the outdoors. Hiking, camping, exploring... I'm in. I have two dogs, Ollie and Duke, and I treat them like a children. My husband, friends and family mean everything to me. I also, inadvertently, find myself in the midst of disaster on a regular basis.

6 thoughts on “I thought I might be crazy.

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