One of the ways I respond to high levels of stress (i.e. my wedding last fall) is not to sleep. Laying in bed counting down all the things that need to get done and try to will myself into a peaceful slumber is not one of the things in life that I really enjoy. These days I’m not planning a wedding, I’m not working (though some could say looking for a job is a full-time job in and of itself), I’m not stressed… but each night I lay my head down and I’m nailed with sleeplessness once again. Each night I come to bed with a new plan to get myself easily off into dream world only to be thwarted with memories from events, places and people I haven’t thought of in ages… wisps of summer vacations to my aunt and uncle’s house in Le Grand, IA, flashes back to dorm room conversations, replays of painful relationship moments – all just as vivid as if they had happened just last week. Details I’d forgotten like the exact layout of their living room, chatting through our dorm windows and final conversations all find themselves fully alive as I twist and turn in the sheets.
As bed time finally settles in, part of me is so frustrated listening to Christian quickly fall into snoozeville, while I lay there wondering what blast from the past will keep me from sleeping tonight? In part, it’s sort of wonderful to relive the happy memories in more detail than ever before, but it’s hard walking through painful moments… things that I wouldn’t choose to relive. Ever.
Starting tonight I’m going to try something new, pop a ibuprofen PM right before I hit the sheets and get up with Christian at the joyous hour of 5:15 in the morning. That way we’ll be on the same sleep schedule, maybe. And, with some luck it will work and I’ll be back to sleeping easy! Any tips on what you use to beat those sleepless nights?
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