I’m on this “kick” to get healthy. Part of this getting back into shape was running and working out. Last fall – a year ago – I’d get home from work, jump into running clothes and do a 3.5 mile loop around the neighborhood. No problem. A year later I’d heard people talking about the C25K program and was curious what it was all about. After reading through the site I decided that there was no possible way that I would need to start at such a rudimentary level. I wouldn’t admit that I could possible be that out of shape.
A few weeks ago I took Charles for a walk and he was constantly so far ahead of me that he was tugging the leash – his 8 pound body dragging me along. I decided if he wanted to go so fast we’d run, and then I could show myself that I wasn’t in as bad of shape as I feared. I ran three blocks at a fast pace and thought that death was looming. I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t in top physical condition, in fact I was at the exact opposite. I didn’t run the 5K this year at Race for the Cure, I walked it. That’s the first time I can remember walking it since I was a little kid and it embarrasses me.
I looked up the C25K program and downloaded it to my iPhone. I’m halfway through week three… and I’m just building up the guts to admit it. There is nothing wrong with starting here, nothing wrong with the program, in fact it’s been amazing so far. It’s, really, about me failing and falling so far from where I was and where I wanted to be that it hurts. I feel like I’m a disappointment to myself.
I’m running it and Christian is running it with me, keeping me accountable. It’s hard to watch him run so far ahead, knowing that a year ago I would have kept up, but now I’m lagging 40 feet behind. I have faith that I’ll finish, that I’ll get back there. I’m working on it, one week at a time.