I’m embarrassed — which granted, for me, is easy to be. But — I’m really embarrassed. Why you ask? Because my dog pooped all over someone’s floor. ALL OVER. And I missed it. You want to know how I found out? The smell. Then I looked up and saw poop EVERYWHERE. All I could think to do was hide my head and say “Charlie pooped, don’t look, don’t look!”. Which of course means they looked and I wanted to curl up into a tight little ball and crawl into a dark hole to hide. I know that it’s ridiculous, but I feel terrible on top of being embarrassed. Dog poop is freaking gross, not to mention that it was ALL OVER THE PLACE.
I might as well have pooped on the floor… at least then this level of embarrassment would be understandable. Now that would have been a story… but I would probably keep that one to myself because even though I know you’re judging me over my dog’s poop I can only imagine the amount of judgment I would get if I had pooped on the floor.
Poor Charles. I mean I was rageful, but he was so pathetic. He knew he was screwed as soon as I stood up. He cowered, little tail tucked between his legs and hair drooping in his eyes. I took him out hoping to avoid an accident of the urine variety and he ran away. He knew his ass was grass so he booked it as far away from me as possible. And peed. Outside. Like he’s suppose to. Oh joy. I tossed him in the back of the car and didn’t talk to him the whole ride home. When we pulled it to the garage, he hid under the neighbors car. He would rather hide in a cold, dark garage than come in the house with me. What does that say about my level of anger? Eh? Well it’s now 2 days later and we are just starting to make up. Idiot.
But I’m not feeling any less embarrassed. It would be easy for me to walk away right now. Just not talk about this for the next week. But, instead I’m facing my embarrassment and letting it out, at least to the Internet.
P.S. Can I mention that I find that my dog resembles a kangaroo when he poops. How he contorts like that is beyond me.