I’m working on taking out the sensor. I read at Life Without Pants that we blog because we have shit to say and it is so true. Whether it’s here or at Learning The Hard Way. If you don’t like it, disagree or don’t care that’s fine by me. But here I am and I’m really going to work on telling it how it is.
Let me tell you about a conversation and/or thought process that I’m fighting at this very second. Say I’ve been chatting it up with someone new, you know, being real wonderful and nice as you are when you first meet someone. Now, you’re about to stumble upon us and be extremely rude by eavesdropping… something you should never, ever do… unless the opportunity plants itself firmly in your lap. Then, no one can blame you.
Me: Oh, so you’re just visiting Colorado? Gotcha, then where are you from?
Stranger: Kansas, well Salina… it’s a small town on the way to…
Me: Yeah I’ve driven through there. Oooh, that’s a rough one. I’m sorry. [take a lesson in my sensitivity and politeness, this type of talk is good at parties involving potential career advancements and meeting the in-laws].
What I’m really thinking:
They live in Salina, KS. Why? Do they farm… do people even farm in Salina Kansas? Kansas is a terrible state… straight up terrible. I don’t get why people live there. If you’re born there, why don’t you leave? Family, maybe? Alright, family has it’s merits, but at least in your “young” years get some living in there. Hit up South America, spend a few years in New York… get to know the world… the world outside of Salina, KS.
I think rude things. I know, I look nice, but lurking beneath this pleasant exterior is a wealth of condescension regarding your lack of international or even national passion.
I judge people based on where they live (or why they live there), if they’ve left, if they don’t have a desire to leave etc. It’s so ridiculous… but as I get older and realize that I live in a state that requires statements along the lines of:
People from Colorado vacation in Colorado, and people outside of Colorado vacation in Colorado…
Making me wonder if Colorado is so great why have I spent the past 6 years trying to escape? I’ve always wanted to leave. My parents left. Let’s see:
Mom: Born in Iowa, escaped to Missouri (not much of a move Mom), spent a few years with bronze skin in AZ then moved to Colorado for good.
Dad: Hmmm… Born in Arkansas, spent a bit in California, Missouri, then all over the place in the military (including Japan), back to Missouri, Arizona, then to Colorado to be with my Mom and well the rest is history.
I grew up listening to “when we live in Arizona”, “when I spent a few years in Florida”, “when I flew into Japan”… granted nothing MAJOR like spending the first six year of my life in a remote village in Russia trying to build up their sadly lacking infrastructure, but enough to make me want to go, go, go and judge (granted unfairly so) people who don’t.
Maybe it isn’t in my best interest to leave. When not seeing the mountains everyday makes me feel trapped and as if life is pointless I’m sure that I’m doing the right thing. But then what kind of hypocrite am I? Here I am judging family, friends, strangers for staying in a place I would find undesirable (yeah, yeah I know the argument… to each their own, blah, blah, blah).
I’m sure there are tons of good reasons to live in Salina, KS. Family, um you like the plains, wheat (??), that small town feel, you can actually afford a house, you want a safe place to raise your children. These all make sense to me. If you spelled it out I would logically understand… I would nod my head and “get” why you live there. But, on some innate level I will still be judging you (and trying oh so hard not to) for being in that tiny little town that would cause me to end up in a mental institution.