I’m terrified of bugs. Absolutely terrified. I will jump out of the shower (shampoo in hair) and run down the hall screaming if a spider decides to drop in for steam bath. I can’t sleep in a room if I know there is a spider lurking, and don’t even get me started on that whole “you eat 8 spiders a year while you sleep”. Can’t handle it. Nightmares.
So, my quest for a bug killing solution started a few years ago while I was studying in Spain with my amiga Jacqui. We were staying with this little senora named Rosario. Darling woman. She only had one big front tooth, but she could make a Spanish tortilla like nobody’s business. If not for all the walking I would have gained 50 lbs. in a month. Here’s a picture of our little Rosario:
We, of course, didn’t have air conditioning in our building. I mean why, in 100+ humid weather, could you possibly need air conditioning? Considering everytime an ambulance wailed by she would comment on losing another “old” one to the heat… we were obviously just fine sweating through our clothes. In order to not die we opened the windows into the courtyard — well not so much a coutyard, but a hole in the middle of the building where everyone hung their clean underwear, but that’s another story…
It was one of our last nights in Granada and we were finishing up our final projects when a BEAST BUG flew in through my open window. It was essentially a big, green cockroach with wings. Imagine me… screaming, flailing and trying to communicate (insert language barrier here) what the hell was going on. I run through the one long hallway yelling “cucaracha, cucaracha” (the spanish work for cockroach) due to the lack of the actual BEAST BUG’s name. Little Rosario pulls herself up from her nightly soap, grabs a can of what can only be described as toxic waste and sprays the thing to death. A few minutes of aerosol toxic waste. In my room. With the BEAST BUG. At least he was dead right?
She grabs him up and sends him swirling down the toilet. Things had calmed down, until I re-entered my now bug free room and began to immediately choke on the toxic waste. Coughing, heaving, eyes watering, gagging, more heaving etc. were all a part of my next hour. If I ever develop some sort of respiratory disease or lung cancer, this is why.
I have since determined that there has to be a better way to manage these pests. Running soap in eyes through the halls and choking on toxic waste just can’t be the only options. Enter my birthday present:
It electrocutes any little creepy crawler or flying beetle that decides to mess with me and/or just hang around on the front porch. Some call it sadistic, I call it preventative measures.