An ode to my future ex-roommate.

So… when I moved in with my current roommate (last summer) I figured only one of us would make it out alive. Clearly if it had come down to it I would have lived simply because I have a sick round-house kick that would kick her lame excuse of an upper cut’s ass. However, that is besides the point…

Everyone said “you two will never make it”, “I bet this only lasts a month”, “You’re going to hate each other”. Well to all of those lame naysayers its been a year and a half and truly we can barely go four hours without talking. Romantic, no? At a BBQ a few months ago people inquired “Are they lesbians?”… we’re that close. But, no, sadly we are not lesbians, but two single girls in this quest to have fun and avoid long term commitments with the opposite sex. So far so good on that front.

So Meghan, these are the things I like about you… oh and I tossed in a few I don’t just to spice it up.

1. I like that you go to the bathroom in my bathroom so we can continue a conversation… regardless of the business you have to do or how serious its about to get.

2. I like that we can wash our underwear together.

3. I like that you eat everything I make and at least pretend to like it. Especially when its so spicy we have heartburn and other digestive issues for days.

4. I don’t like that your perpetually late because you “HAD” to talk to someone for 2 hours before exiting Miramont. No one EVER needs to talk that long. Shut up already.

5. I like that I can shoot you with a Nerf gun and you like it.

6. I don’t like that you don’t know how to make my dog pee on command.

7. I like that you think all my jokes regarding “your mom” and bodily functions are hilarious and worthy of tears.

8. I like that we each drink a bottle of wine on Mondays and then hate ourselves for the next week — because we both get hangovers that last a week.

9. I like it that we can drink again the next Monday, but only after a $45 trip to Panda Express.

10. I don’t like that you had to go get a freaking job and ruin my ability to eat Chef Boyardee out of the can, AT HOME for lunch.

11. I like that you have midget feet. Because they are freakishly small and I can make fun of them.

12. I like that we took a Christmas card picture and sent out Christmas cards like we’re a real family. You, me, and Charles. I still can’t figure out why people thought we were lesbians.

13. I like that you convince me that wine and french fries will have the same effect as an hour of working out… its a wonder I’m not a stick by now.

14. I don’t like that you eat mushrooms… in front of me.

15. And finally, I like that there is NEVER a dull moment is the house of Megan and Meghan. Between goodwill hunts, permanently scaring the neighbors and convincing ourselves that we could win both “American Idol” and “So you think you can dance” simultaneously there is clearly not a spare moment for boredom or a lack of entertainment causing us to roll on the floor due to spasms.

So… now that we are officially in each others hypothetical weddings (which of course will never happen because that’s how we roll)… we say goodbye. And then plan to hang out Monday because 1 day apart is far too long. I mean who will I pee with?


Published by Megan

I'm a marketer, cook, avid bug hater, cupcake lover, hiker, klutz, and married lady living in the great state of Colorado... My name is Megan Stecker and I'm a Colorado native. That's right, born and raised. I currently live in Denver and work in Marketing. I love what I do and watching it impact my client's business. I love to cook and bake. A good glass of wine can cure what's ailing you as long as you drink it in good company. I love the outdoors. Hiking, camping, exploring... I'm in. I have two dogs, Ollie and Duke, and I treat them like a children. My husband, friends and family mean everything to me. I also, inadvertently, find myself in the midst of disaster on a regular basis.

One thought on “An ode to my future ex-roommate.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: